Thursday, November 8, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Peer Assessment Narrative Checklist
Today Miss Paton peer assessed Fine on her narrative writing. She thinks Fine's writing is excellent and targets audience interest levels. Miss Paton thinks Fine needs to improve on her language features such as using similes, metaphors and onomatopoeia in her writing.
Friday, November 2, 2012
My Narrative Checklist By Teagan
This is my narrative check list. These are all the things that I have completed.
My Narrative By Teagan
My Own Narrative
Once upon a time there was boy a named Leroy. Leroy was a kung fu fighter and he would train with his master Sensei Wu under his dads pizza shop. Sensei Wu said in his words of wisdom if he focused hard enough he would create a fireball and lightning ball in his hands and become stronger then his training would be finished. His father Tobi and his mother Temari owned a pizza shop. It was called Tobiriffic Pizza. Leroy had a little brother named Kakashi. Kakashi didn’t like what Leroy was doing and started calling him Bruce Leroy. He was teasing him because he was a ninja. There was a bad group that would challenge people at Kung fu. The leaders name was Pain because of the pain he brings.
One day Pain and his group found Leroy and Sensei Wu’s training spot. Sensei was having a sleep when Pain stabbed him in the stomach and put Sensei Wu to his end. Leroy was cleaning his dads pizza shop when he heard this screaming “AAAA”. Leroy immediately knew it was Sensei Wu. Leroy ran over as fast as he could but it was too late Sensei Wu was dieing. He heard running but he couldn’t catch them they were too fast. Leroy held Sensei Wu while Sensei Wu closed his eyes and went into the light. Leroy screamed “NOOO!!”. Leroy said if he ever saw those guys again he would get his revenge.
Leroy teaches teenagers to help him to defeat Pain and his group. Leroy trains harder and focuses on mastering that fireball and lightning ball. One day Leroy found a kid on the street. He must of got beaten up by pain because he was bleeding by his lip and his nose was all bloody too. Leroy asked him what his name was he whispered “ Kakashi “. Leroy screamed what. It was his little brother. So he picked him up and brought him to his class. Leroy was so angry it was like his head was going to explode. Leroy was furious.
A little while after he heard his mum scream “ AAAA”. Leroy ran up as fast as the wind and there he was . Pain, Pain grabbed his mother and chucked her to the floor then started chuckling to himself. Leroy focuses and remembered what Sensei Wu said. He focused and focused and focused. He opened up his hands and lightning started swirling in his left hand while in his right hand fire starting swirling in hand. His eyes went blue as he struck the two hands and pushed it towards Pain. Pain screamed in pain “ Arrr”. Pain fell to the ground and was never seen again. Leroy keep training teenagers and himself. His dads pizza shop got bigger and it is all over the world. There was no more trouble and everybody lived happily after.
My Three Billy Goats Gruff Story By Teagan
Learning Intention
I am learning to identify the features of a narrative
Success Criteria:
I can identify the characters - defining the personalities of the characters
I can identify the setting/place - where and when the story took place
I can identify the problem the characters experience
I can identify the resolution - how the problem was solved
Read through this passage and use your highlighter on your netbook to identify the above features:- characters, setting, problem and resolution
The Billy Goats Gruff
There were once three billy goats- big old Grandfather Gruff, his son Bill, and his grandson Billy who was hardly more than a kid. They spent the snowy winter in a valley. But when spring came, they longed to climb to the green alps where sweet grass grew.
As they set off the little bell on the littlest Billy Goat Gruff went ting tang tong, and his little feet went trit trat trot.
The bell on the second Billy Goat Gruff went cling clong clang, and his feet went clippity-clip.
But the big bell on the biggest Billy Goat Gruff went bing bang bong and his feet went clip-clop clip-clop.
“Soon we will cross the river gorge and reach the mountains” he said.
Little did they know that a terrible troll had made his home under the bridge. There was no other way across the gorge, and the troll was growing fat and happy, eating the travellers who passed that way. As the littlest Billy Goat Gruff came trotting over the bridge, his bell went ting tang tong and his feet went trit trat trot. The troll heard him and poked his red eyes over the edge of the bridge.
“Who dares to cross my bridge?” he said. I’ll eat him between bread for a sandwich!”
The littlest Billy Goat Gruff blinked at the troll, then he said, “Eat me if you must, but I’m very small and thin. My father, Billy Goat Gruff, is coming along behind me. He’s much bigger and fatter than I am. Listen”
“Hrmph”, said the troll, but he listened, and sure enough he could hear the second Billy Goat Gruff coming, his bell going cling clong clang. “All right, be off with you,” said the troll. “But I’ll be waiting to eat you up on your way back”.
So the littlest Billy Goat Gruff hurried on across the bridge. But he stopped at the far side, to see what would happen. The second Billy Goat Gruff reached the brdieg, and his feet went clippity-clip and the bell round his neck went cling clong clang. The troll poked his bulging blue nose over the edge of the bridge. “Who dares to cross my bridge? I’ll eat him under pastry for a pie!”
The second Billy Goat Gruff blinked at the troll, then he said, “Eat me if you must, but I’m rather bony and tough. My father, Billy Goat Gruff, is coming along behind me. He’s much bigger and fatter than I. Listen”.
“Hrrmmphph!” said the troll, but he listened, and sure enough he could hear the third Billy Goat Gruff coming, his bell going bing bang bong. “All right”, said the troll.
“Get off my bridge. But I’ll be waiting here to eat you up on your way back!”
So the second Billy Goat Gruff hurried on across the bridge. But he stopped at the far side as well, to see what would happen.
When the third Billy Goat reached the bridge, his feet went clip-clop clip clop and the bell round his neck went bing bang bong. The troll pulled himself on to the bridge and stood barring the way- and a nasty, nobbly, spiteful, spikey, horrible, hairy troll he was.
“Who DARES to cross MY bridge? I’ll eat him RAW!”
The biggest Billy Goat Gruff blinked at the troll, then he said, “Eat me, will you? We’ll see about that!” And he lowered his two great horns, and pawed the planks with his big front foot-ratch scratch scrape-
“I’ve horns on my head and hooves on my feet
And I’ll show you what they’re for!
I’ve got hooves on my feet and horns on my head:
I’ve seen worse than you before!”
Then he thundered over the bridge and rammed the troll, and tossed him so high in the air that the troll did not come down for three days.
So the third Billy Goat Gruff reached the other side of the bridge, and trotted into the mountains with his son and grandson, to eat the sweet grass all summer long.
For all I know, they may still be there.
Problem:
The problem was the troll. It would not move or give way to let the three goats across the bridge
Resolution:
Grandfather Gruff was the strongest in the team and the troll so he used his horn and hooves and rammed into the troll to get past.
I am learning to identify the features of a narrative
Success Criteria:
I can identify the characters - defining the personalities of the characters
I can identify the setting/place - where and when the story took place
I can identify the problem the characters experience
I can identify the resolution - how the problem was solved
Read through this passage and use your highlighter on your netbook to identify the above features:- characters, setting, problem and resolution
The Billy Goats Gruff
There were once three billy goats- big old Grandfather Gruff, his son Bill, and his grandson Billy who was hardly more than a kid. They spent the snowy winter in a valley. But when spring came, they longed to climb to the green alps where sweet grass grew.
As they set off the little bell on the littlest Billy Goat Gruff went ting tang tong, and his little feet went trit trat trot.
The bell on the second Billy Goat Gruff went cling clong clang, and his feet went clippity-clip.
But the big bell on the biggest Billy Goat Gruff went bing bang bong and his feet went clip-clop clip-clop.
“Soon we will cross the river gorge and reach the mountains” he said.
Little did they know that a terrible troll had made his home under the bridge. There was no other way across the gorge, and the troll was growing fat and happy, eating the travellers who passed that way. As the littlest Billy Goat Gruff came trotting over the bridge, his bell went ting tang tong and his feet went trit trat trot. The troll heard him and poked his red eyes over the edge of the bridge.
“Who dares to cross my bridge?” he said. I’ll eat him between bread for a sandwich!”
The littlest Billy Goat Gruff blinked at the troll, then he said, “Eat me if you must, but I’m very small and thin. My father, Billy Goat Gruff, is coming along behind me. He’s much bigger and fatter than I am. Listen”
“Hrmph”, said the troll, but he listened, and sure enough he could hear the second Billy Goat Gruff coming, his bell going cling clong clang. “All right, be off with you,” said the troll. “But I’ll be waiting to eat you up on your way back”.
So the littlest Billy Goat Gruff hurried on across the bridge. But he stopped at the far side, to see what would happen. The second Billy Goat Gruff reached the brdieg, and his feet went clippity-clip and the bell round his neck went cling clong clang. The troll poked his bulging blue nose over the edge of the bridge. “Who dares to cross my bridge? I’ll eat him under pastry for a pie!”
The second Billy Goat Gruff blinked at the troll, then he said, “Eat me if you must, but I’m rather bony and tough. My father, Billy Goat Gruff, is coming along behind me. He’s much bigger and fatter than I. Listen”.
“Hrrmmphph!” said the troll, but he listened, and sure enough he could hear the third Billy Goat Gruff coming, his bell going bing bang bong. “All right”, said the troll.
“Get off my bridge. But I’ll be waiting here to eat you up on your way back!”
So the second Billy Goat Gruff hurried on across the bridge. But he stopped at the far side as well, to see what would happen.
When the third Billy Goat reached the bridge, his feet went clip-clop clip clop and the bell round his neck went bing bang bong. The troll pulled himself on to the bridge and stood barring the way- and a nasty, nobbly, spiteful, spikey, horrible, hairy troll he was.
“Who DARES to cross MY bridge? I’ll eat him RAW!”
The biggest Billy Goat Gruff blinked at the troll, then he said, “Eat me, will you? We’ll see about that!” And he lowered his two great horns, and pawed the planks with his big front foot-ratch scratch scrape-
“I’ve horns on my head and hooves on my feet
And I’ll show you what they’re for!
I’ve got hooves on my feet and horns on my head:
I’ve seen worse than you before!”
Then he thundered over the bridge and rammed the troll, and tossed him so high in the air that the troll did not come down for three days.
So the third Billy Goat Gruff reached the other side of the bridge, and trotted into the mountains with his son and grandson, to eat the sweet grass all summer long.
For all I know, they may still be there.
Problem:
The problem was the troll. It would not move or give way to let the three goats across the bridge
Resolution:
Grandfather Gruff was the strongest in the team and the troll so he used his horn and hooves and rammed into the troll to get past.
My retelling on the Three Little Pigs By Cody
One sunny morning there were three little pigs that lived on a farm. Their mum told them that they're old enough to live by themselves.
One little pig built his house out of thick hay. The second pig built his house out of thin sticks and the third pig built his house out of heavy bricks.The third little pig house took two to three days to build his house.
The next day one bad wolf came out of the woods to get some food. The wolf saw the three little pigs’ houses. The bad wolf ran to the first little pigs house, the one that was made out of hay. The wolf saw the first little pig in the house through the window and said “Let me in, little pig”. The little pig said “Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin. Then the wolf looked straight at the house.
He huffed and he puffed and blew the second pigs house made out of sticks in . The first little pig ran in fear to the second pigs house the one that was made out of thin sticks. The first pig screamed to the second pig “Let me in quick before I become lunch”. The second pig opened his stick door. The wolf ran after them and saw two pigs in the house through the the stick window. The wolf said “Little pigs let me in”. The little pigs said “Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins”. The wolf stepped in front of the stick house and he huffed and he puffed and blew the house in. The Little pigs ran to the third `Little pigs brick house. The Little pigs shouted “Let us in before we become lunch” The third little pig opened his door brick door.
The big bad wolf peak through the brick window and saw three little pigs. The big bad wolf said “Little pigs, little pigs let me in”. The pigs said “Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins”. The wolf huffed and he puffed but he couldn’t blow the brick house down so the wolf climbed the brick wall and dived down the chimney. The Little pigs heard him coming down the chimney and placed a boiling bowl of water on top of the burning fire. The wolf went SPLASH! into the bowl and he was boiled in the bowl and he was never seen again.
THE END
The Three Little Pigs Story, Retold By Liantre
The Three Little Pigs - Liantre
There were three little pigs and a mother pig. One sunny morning the mother pig said “You are old enough to make your own houses”. The three little pigs went off and made their house. The first little pig made his house out of straw. The second little pig made his house out of wood and the third little pig spent his whole day making his house out of bricks. It was time for dinner. The third little pig was just finishing his house, but the big bad wolf saw a house made out of straw. The wolf looked in the window and he said ’’Little pig little pig, let me come in”.
The little pig said ’’No, no not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin, I will not let you in’’. “Well I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in”. The first little pig got scared so the little pig ran to the second little pigs house. “Little pigs, little pigs let me come in”. “No, no not by the hairs on our chinny chin chins, we will not let you in’’. “Very well then, I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down” so the wolf did. Then the little pigs got so scared they ran to the third little pigs house. "Let me in, let me in the big bad wolf is coming" cried the little pigs. They ran to the third little pigs house the big bad wolf came to the third little pigs house. "Little pigs little pigs let me come in". ‘‘No, No not by the hairs on our chinny chin chins we will not let you in’’.
"Well I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in," and he did. The house was still standing. The wolf had an idea. He climbed up onto the roof and climbed down through the chimney. The three little pigs knew that he was going through the chimney so they put a big pot of hot water on the fire . He said “Help, help, help out .’’ Then they said “You must leave us alone”. The big bad wolf said “Ok I will leave you alone’’. The Three little pigs lifted the big bad wolf out of the pot and helped him up The wolf ran as fast as he could and he never saw the three little pigs again.
The End
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